Brighton attorney fosters mediation as alternative to trial for divorce, separation

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

Denise D. Couling

Attorney Denise Couling grew up watching her father, also a lawyer, handle cases from his home office near Flint, Mich. “He was, and still is, a premier criminal attorney in Flint,” she stated. “He was larger than life, very charismatic. He was part Perry Mason, part Robin Williams. Life was not boring around Dad.”

She remembers watching him as a little girl, his feet recklessly thrown on the desk, talking on the phone, seemingly telling people what to do. “It looked terrific as a child and none of my friends’ parents had jobs that were nearly as interesting as my dad’s job,” she recalls. Sometime during high school she realized that practicing law is not as free-wheeling and stress-free as it appeared to be as a child. However, she chose a law career anyway, in part to carry on the family tradition, and also as a practical way to make a living and have fun.

Armed with an undergraduate degree in economics and political science and a graduate degree in law, all from the University of Michigan, Denise moved quickly to escalate her career. She interned for the international law firm of Baker and McKenzie in Chicago, a decision based on the possibility that she and her British-born husband might end up working and living somewhere other than the United States. Later, she worked at the Ann Arbor firm of Dykema and Gosset, a top-tier law practice.

“I worked with wonderful people in some of the finest law institutions,” she said. “I never regretted the decision to work at that level of practice and would recommend it to anyone entering the law field. Nothing but good can come from seeing how folks operate at the top of their fields, what the culture is like, how business is handled, getting first hand experience on client expectations.”

From a multi-lawyer atmosphere, to her one-woman, hometown practice, Denise acknowledges that vast cultural differences exist between the two spectrums, but finds deep satisfaction in her situation. “I love being self-employed. I have a very comfortable practice,” she said.

Prior to opening her practice, she worked with her father in Grand Blanc for 10 years. Part of that time was spent working with a federal magistrate and serving as a referee in divorce proceedings in the Genesee County Circuit Court. “I became demoralized about the number of folks going through the court system whose cases could have been handled differently,” she said. The tension and animosity between divorce partners often escalated as private differences were publicly aired.

Denise saw how the mediation process could really change the divorce atmosphere by making it more controlled, less expensive and calmer, rather than the prospect of having a courtroom judge make the final separation ruling, deciding who gets which possessions and how parenting time will be divided for the foreseeable future.

“Judges mean well, but it is not their life on the line. They don’t have to live out their judgments. No one can make the decision for a couple better than they can themselves.”

Mediation is a modern, problem solving approach to divorce. Both parties meet with the mediator, either with or without an attorney, and work out plans for parenting, dividing assets, paying taxes, controlling businesses. It allows couples to control the outcome of one of the most devastating events that can happen in the life of a family. As a neutral party, Denise has helped many families find their way through the divorce process with dignity and privacy using either mediation or collaborative law. Most divorces cases handled through her practice now utilize these methods.

“It is a privilege to help people sort out their problems and find a better way to move forward. I help folks going through a divorce the way I would want a family member helped if they were going through a divorce,” she said.

She said that people who go through divorce mediation find it to be a more positive experience than a trial. Most parties generally agree they did the best they could to save their marriage or to do the right thing by each other and their children. Some parties even realize that they are better off together than divorced, and drop the decision altogether.

Denise will be a presenter during the Livingston Interdisciplinary Professional Association’s (LIPA) second semi-annual seminar titled Family Law and Divorce: Your Roadmap to Better Options. The event is scheduled for Feb. 29 at the Howell Carnegie District Library. LIPA is a volunteer organization made up of attorneys, judges, financial professionals, counselors, real estate professionals and therapists, who all support mediation and out-of-court options when it comes to settling a divorce.

Her interests in business and self-employment lend nicely to her involvement in FastTrac, a new venture program operated by the local Chambers of Commerce through the nationally known Kauffman Foundation. Denise serves as an entrepreneur coach, advising new business owners how to avoid pitfalls. “It is fun and rewarding to work with new businesses. It is exciting to be a part of their success,” she said.

If you have found this story interesting, informative or inspiring, please let Denise know! You can contact her at 810-225-7440; visit her office of Couling Law and Mediation, PLLC at 834 W. Grand River, Brighton; email her at coulinglaw@gmail.com; or visit the website at www.coulinglaw.com.

Quality care defines Whitmore Lake physical therapy practice

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

A lot can happen in seven years. A child completes middle school and high school. A puppy ages into a senior citizen. A business grows from an owner with two employees and a handful of clients, to 30 employees and two state-of-the art locations.

Leaps and Bounds Therapy Services is that success story. Owner Dr. Alison Barnett opened her practice just seven years ago in Whitmore Lake after working in environments that often left her disappointed with quality of care.

“I started treating clients privately while still working with schools and private contracts,” Dr. Barnett said. “I needed an occupational therapist and a speech pathologist to refer clients to as needed. I began working with two individuals who offered to work for me if I opened my own business.”

Shortly thereafter, Leaps and Bounds Therapy Services became a member of the medical and business community in Whitmore Lake. Leaps and Bounds opened a second location in downtown Brighton just two years ago. Together, the offices employ 30 people and host just under 1000 patient visits per month.

The first facility was a fraction of the space that is currently utilized at the present Whitmore Lake location. Six thousand square feet of space is devoted to improving lives through physical, occupational or speech therapy. Children and adults with developmental disabilities are the primary clients at Whitmore Lake. The facility includes a heated aquatic center where children are treated by a skilled aquatics instructor in a warm, buoyant environment. The treatment brings an element of fun to the therapy, while stimulating muscles, joints, circulation, respiratory rates, attention span, strength and endurance.

“My goal is quality care, not how many patients can I pack through here in a day to make the most amount of money,” Dr. Barnett said. “I will always focus my business toward quality of service, not being shuffled through, having a good experience, or getting value for their payment or insurance money.”

A great physical therapist may not initially be great at running a business, and Dr. Barnett had to face her own challenges of entrepreneurship. “It was very time consuming. I did a lot of reading, a lot of research. There is perpetual continuing education.”

Dr. Barnett opened the downtown Brighton office in 2010 after purchasing the business from a professional peer who continues to work for Leaps and Bounds. “It was a risk,” she says. “The economy was bad, but because of that we were able to get a great location and lock in a great price for a long time.” Brighton Physical Therapy focuses on adult treatment.

If a child has therapy needs, Dr. Barnett recommends addressing the issue earlier rather than later. “Parents just need to follow their gut instinct if they feel a child should be doing more than they are doing,” she said. Parents can be cued to a potential problem by comparing their child’s skill levels with other children of the same age. Many times a developmental issue can be remedied with exercises done at home and in a short period of time with early detection.

Physical therapy addresses issues with gross motor skills such as walking, crawling, standing and sitting. Occupational therapy techniques are used for issues involving fine motor skills such as coloring, handling objects, handwriting or sensory integration, which includes hyper or hypo sensitivity to environment. Speech therapy can be used for both learning and understanding variables of speech and language.

Dr. Barnett is seeing more frequent Torticollis among infants. Too much time spent lying on their back results in a tightened neck muscle and turned neck that can lead to a flat spot on the head. “Babies sleep on their back, they spend a lot of time on their back in a containment device like a swing or seat,” she said. “Infants need tummy time from day one. It is as simple as laying the infant on his or her tummy on the parent’s chest.” The bonding opportunity coupled with the chance for baby to explore the environment also addresses physical development needs.

Another growth area is in treating adults with cerebral palsy and other developmental disabilities. Leaps and Bounds employs staff members who specialize in muscle tone, bracing and wheelchair positioning, a specialty that may not be present in some practices.

Although the Whitmore Lake office primarily serves children, the office will begin offering adult services in 2012. “Some of our clients who bring in their children are also in need of therapy but are busy with their children’s needs. We will now be able to serve both the parent and child at the same time,” Dr. Barnett said.

An updated website planned for release by the end of January will help potential clients learn what questions to ask when seeking physical therapy services.

If you have found this story interesting, informative or inspiring, please let Dr. Barnett know! You can contact her at 734-449-4649; visit Leaps and Bounds Therapy Services at 11930 Whitmore Lake Rd., Whitmore Lake; email her at alisonb@lbtherapy.com; or visit the website at http://lbtherapy.com.

Are You Scared to Plan?

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

These are some of the scariest words in business! Really! Recently I have been told by several successful, intelligent and hard-working executives that strategic planning scares them. Another told me he does not believe that business owners actually do strategic planning. So how are they successful?

The thing is, whether they have a written strategic plan or not, they certainly have a plan, if only in their mind. Whatever a business owner or senior executive does to make the business succeed reflects their concept of the step (or steps) they need to take to make it happen. That is their strategic thinking in action.

Would you get into your car and start driving without knowing where you’re going and how you’re going to get there?

The strategic plan for a business is simple to define but not easy to execute. Perhaps that is one reason that it scares people. It usually means they have to change something. Change is hard, especially if the business is doing well. Why spend valuable time and money to make changes when things are good. The reality is, everything around them is changing, especially customers and competitors.

It is hard work to put together a sales and profit forecast. A sales and profit forecast is made up of assumptions to begin with. Risky decisions are made in either case. Dan Gilbert, CEO of Quicken Loans and about eight other companies, says, “The numbers don’t lead; they follow.” In other words, forecasts must be based on actions, not assumptions. Those actions require a plan based on strategic thinking.

Strategic planning is a way of setting the future path of the company and determining what resources are needed to make it happen. The future and success of the company is based on the decisions that are made and the goals that management commits the organization to achieve.

Without a clear path the company will miss opportunities and lose its competitive edge. The risks of leaving the future of the company to chance are far greater than those of creating and executing a plan that can be managed with clear purpose and effort.

Medically supervised corrective skin care business experiences amazing first year growth

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

Carolyn Lieberman, Angie Scott and Marcie Soll

Angie Scott thought she would retire at her job with a medical spa in Toledo. “I loved what I was doing. I worked for a great physician who gave me opportunity for career growth. I loved the versatility of what I was doing every day,” she said. At the end of 2010, Angie and her employer decided to go their separate ways. “I was devastated. I was not interested in opening my own business.”

“One day my husband just said to me, ‘Angie, get out of bed, quit crying. You are going to open your own business.’ ” With most of their money tied up in his own young business, there was no option for obtaining a start-up loan. The pair set to repairing a building he already owned, taking what little money they had to re-do the floor. “I started with the bare minimum, the bed my clients lie on and the products I already had to sell. I’d make a little money, buy what I needed. Make a little money, buy what I needed,” she said.

A no-solicitation agreement between herself and her previous employer meant that clients had to find her. And find her they did. “I wasn’t a Facebook user. They found me on Facebook. I had an unlisted phone number. They called my husband’s business looking for me,” Angie said. “I have been so blessed with my client base; they have been so loyal and supportive.”

“My growth has been incredible. For the first nine months I ran the business entirely alone. I did the scheduling, answered the phone, did the client work, checked people in and out,” Angie stated.

Understanding the huge difference between what can be offered from a medically supervised skin aesthetics program versus a facial in a hair salon or purchasing items at the make up counter, Angie knew she had to find a physician to oversee her facility. “It was difficult to find someone who understood the process and who believed in me,” she said. She eventually found a physician who supervises her practice, allowing her to utilize and sell products not available at a department store or hair salon. Facial peels comprise the bulk of her business, with permanent cosmetics a close second.

Skin aesthetics goes far beyond applying makeup. The medically supervised field examines the skin at the physiological level. Acne, freckles, wrinkles and more can be corrected and eliminated. “A dermatologist can give prescriptions, but we are hands on with the treatment. I focus on educating women. I ask them about their sun exposure, allergies, lifestyle and skin care regimen,” she said. Her personal specialty is corrective skin care.

“I love that I can really help women to feel more confident about themselves and give results that they couldn’t get from the girl doing makeup sales at the counter. This is a totally different ball game,” she said.

Angie was a member of only the second class of graduates from an aesthetic skin care program in Fremont, Ohio. She and another classmate were hired by a team of plastic surgeons to practice aesthetics at a medical spa they had just opened in Toledo. After eight years, the partnership dissolved and Angie chose employment with the partner she worked for until 2010. During those 11 years, she built a large and loyal client base due to her knowledge, skill, outgoing personality and variety of services she could offer. She trained staff members, and sometimes physicians, in treatment processes. She also learned how to run and build a business, not realizing at the time how important that skill would be in her future.

“My parents always said that I was born to do this,” she said. “I was always the one doing everybody’s makeup. My baby book at two years old says ‘she loves to play with makeup.’ ”

Angie explained that freckling is caused by early exposure to excessive sunlight that causes damage at the cellular level. The skin produces pigment, known as tanning, as a protective mechanism, to prevent the skin from burning. Freckling is a result of over stimulation of our skin’s pigment cells, causing an uneven production and distribution of skin pigmentation. It is a sign of sun damage and increased risk of skin cancer. According to Angie, skin cancer occurrence is growing dramatically among teenage girls and is attributed to the use of tanning beds. She recently taught a class for teenagers at a local high school. “All but three of the girls used tanning beds. One of them already had a melanoma removed from her back,” she said. “I can wipe out freckling. I can give you the tools, but you have to want to do it.” The process will also significantly reduce the risk of developing skin cancer.

The business is expanding with the addition of two aestheticians and more space. Angie offers a new promotion each month. She suggests a signature facial for a first time client wanting to try the experience or as a gift option.

If you have found this story interesting, informative or inspiring, please let Angie know! You can contact her 734-568-6100; visit Faces Corrective Skin Care at 6595 Secor Rd., Suite3, Lambertville; email her at angie@flauntyourface.com; or visit the website at www.flauntyourface.com.

David Landau started Elysium Painting Company, his fourth company, in 2006; today the firm provides over 50 jobs and showed 189 percent growth in 2011

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

David Landau

Originally a higher level skilled trades business, Elysium rapidly grew as a “new type of house painting service” that prioritized excellent customer service, creative marketing, and an advanced business model rarely seen in the residential industry, according to owner David Landau. Elysium Painting Company “serves as an infrastructure to unite the best, most qualified, most detail-oriented workers with caring homeowners,” Landau said. “We aim to exceed expectations, rather than just slash and dash our way to a check like most painters do.”

David got his first real chance to be an entrepreneur at age 18 when he began selling his original artwork through a gallery. As an artist, his wall murals began to grow in popularity. Clients began asking him to apply a fresh coat of paint to a wall, then the entire room, prior to painting the art mural. His business idea sprouted from that demand, and Elysium was born.

“We deliver amazing, professional painting,” David said. “It is like having artists come into your house to paint the walls.”

“I was naturally hooked to the entrepreneur mindset. I wanted to find something that will really scale, that can help people. Anyone can be in a business to make money, but when you can really help homeowners and keep contractors busy and put food on the table, when you can plug it all into a system it is great for everybody,” David said. He has started four businesses to date and serves as a coach for the Great Lakes Entrepreneurs Quest. David is also a co-partner in a local Angel fund and startup incubator. He has made five trips to Stanford and breathes the Silicon Valley vibe.

Interior and exterior painters are plentiful; anyone with a sturdy back, ladder and paint brush can call themselves a painter. Elysium provides service and quality work that exceeds customer expectations, evidenced by the business reviews and ratings with the Better Business Bureau, Angie’s List and other on-line referral sources, with an average rating is 4.5 out of 5, adding to the business’ credibility.

Elysium has evolved to do far more than just painting. Providing driveway, siding replacement, fire and water restoration, and flooring services, Landau aims to see the company one day be a full-scale general contractor. While the specialty service is painting, the response and positive online ratings to Elysium’s model have been so strong that the expansion of services is viewed as natural.

David works out of his home, one of his approaches to keeping overhead costs low. He rents incubator office space for less than $100 per month. Work crews do not drive a company vehicle; rather, they are supplied with a magnetic sign to use on their personal vehicle while on the job.

Where David saves on overhead costs, he pays a premium to find the best possible employees. Two to three hours of initial conversation precede five or six personal interviews. “We do several intense background checks. Homeowners trust us to be in their homes with their children and their possessions. We don’t take that lightly,” he stated. If a potential employee survives the multiple layers of interviews and many hoops to jump through, David will most likely choose employees that really want to work for his company and are willing to go the extra mile to deliver the high polished service, the foundation of his strong reputation.

With a Zen approach to his business model, all aspects of his business are compartmentalized, yet filled with fail-safes to closely connect each pillar together, much like the organs of a body can operate independently but all depend on each other for optimal functioning. The sophisticated, professional advertising guarantees superior satisfaction. Top of the line work crews deliver the goods. Inspectors show up at frequent intervals, monitoring work quality and progress. Multiple follow-up calls to clients and satisfaction surveys monitor the results. Thirty pages of company operating policy and procedure are presented to any potential client before they sign any commitment with the company. With a 416 percent increase in referrals and a 216 percent increase in return of repeat customers for 2011, David’s business approach is working.

“Now is the time to book work for 2012,” he said. “There are seasonal discounts and some work can be done during the winter months.”

As Elysium continues to grow, David is always looking for superior customer service employees, general managers and crew members that will help maintain the integrity between promise and delivery.

If you have found this story interesting, informative or inspiring, please let David know! You can contact Elysium Painting Company at 734-660-5903; email him at david.landau@paintaa.com; or visit the website at www.PaintAnnArbor.com.

Brighton’s Elias Realty guides customers through process of buying, selling their home

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

William “Will” Elias

With three locations in mid-Michigan, Elias Realty offers convenience for customers looking to purchase or sell a home. Owner and broker William “Will” Elias and his team also guide customers through each step of the process. “I try to take stress out of the picture,” he says. “I have a vision of what the real estate transaction is going to be from start to finish. I don’t sell a specific service – I sell a specific vision of what the outcome should be.”

One-stop shopping is available through Will’s other businesses – Elias Financial, Elias Tax & Accounting, and Elias Debt Management. Owning and operating the complementary businesses enables Will to streamline the entire process and help customers focus on buying their dream home. “Real estate is my passion,” he says. “Some people wake up one day and feel like they can’t wait to be Tom Brady and play in the Super Bowl. This is my football game. I love what I do.”

That passion has translated into growth, with Will opening a Brighton office in late 2011. The business is headquartered in Livonia and also has an office in Pontiac, serving northern Oakland County. Elias Realty is a full-service realty company specializing in short sales, which occur when a lender accepts a discount on a mortgage to avoid a possible foreclosure or bankruptcy.

Much of his business, says Will, comes from customers carrying a mortgage higher than the home’s appraised value. “The homeowner will see the house across the street selling for half the price of their home,” he says. “They want to figure out a way to get out of their home and into the one across the street. When you own the real estate end, the financial end and the mortgage end, you can often make that happen.”

Educating customers about short sales is a priority, and the website includes detailed information for consumers. “We do a lot of short sales, and we’re very good at it,” Will says. “Part of the reason is because our staff isn’t just licensed and trained to sell real estate; they’re also licensed and trained to negotiate debt. We have it down to a science, and there’s probably nobody doing more of it than we are.”

Growing the business is also about listening to the consumer, and Will says the number-one complaint customers have with previous agents is lack of communication. “People feel they didn’t have enough knowledge and weren’t guided enough through the process,” he says. Communication is a priority for Elias Realty, and team members are available after normal business hours to respond to email inquiries.

Will also takes a different approach to meeting customers; he invites them to his office instead of going to their home. “I like to show them everything I have to offer,” he says. “I’m in the business of selling homes. I don’t need to see their home to know I can sell it. I want to show what I have and what I can do for them.”

While his work experience is diverse, ranging from employment with the Detroit Three automakers to working as a ceramic tile installer, Will always had the entrepreneurial spirit. He actually started in the mortgage business and sought his real estate license after helping aspiring homeowners muddle through the paperwork. “As I was doing mortgage transactions, I noticed contracts written so poorly that I found myself educating the borrower,” he says. “I got my license so I could help people. It was better for the borrower – and for me.”

Will commits heavily to marketing, spending more than $40,000 a month on advertising. He estimates his radio advertising budget between $500,000 and $750,000 annually, and his home listings are available extensively online. “The average agent lists a home on 25 to 50 websites. We put it in close to 220,” he says. “The job of a real estate agent isn’t to sell your home – it’s to market it.” He says his listings get 40 to 60 percent more traffic than others, and Elias Realty has its own real estate book, distributed in several locations throughout metro Detroit. “I think that’s one of the reasons we have grown the way we have,” he says of his commitment to marketing.

Elias Realty has thrived despite the challenging housing market of the past few years, and Will’s goal is to continue to improve. Many years ago, he says, he declined to open a business due to too much competition. “Those businesses did well, and my uncle told me I made a mistake by backing out when I should have moved forward. All I had to do was be better than the competition. That stayed with me,” says Will. “My vision for 2012 is to provide value to the consumer who does business with my company – and to be better.”

If you have found this story interesting, informative, or inspiring, please let Will know! Elias Realty is headquartered at 32900 Five Mile Rd., Livonia, 734-405-6610; the Brighton office is at 102 E. Grand River Ave., Brighton, 810-588-4554; email him at will@877callwill.com; or visit the website at www.877callwill.com.

SYNC® and SYNC® with MyFord Touch®

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

SYNC® is all about staying in touch, staying entertained, staying informed and staying reassured. All with simple voice commands. Never miss a phone call with hands-free calling. Have incoming text messages read aloud to you. Browse and play whatever you want to hear from your audio library with simple voice commands. With SYNC Services® you can get audible turn-by-turn directions, personalized news, stocks, and sports scores. And get the peace of mind that comes with 911 Assist®, which can call for help if you’re in an accident in which the airbag deploys28.

And now with available SYNC® with MyFord Touch®, you can personalize your driving experience from entertainment to climate with simple voice commands, intuitive touch screen controls or customizable cluster screens controlled by steering wheel-mounted buttons.

Briarwood Ford is here to help with all of this technology with Sync My Ride Personalization Seminars on the 1^st and 3^rd Thursday of each month from 6:30-8pm. It doesn’t matter if you bought your vehicle from Briarwood Ford or another dealership, we’re here to help! Tom Bicknell is the sales manager for Briarwood Ford in Saline, if you have questions for Tom please call 734- 429-8840.

Midlife career change brings owner satisfaction, growth opportunities

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

Louann Artiaga

Louann Artiaga’s accounting education served her well over the years. She worked for an individual who owned several companies and did all his human resources work and administered both the workers’ compensation and unemployment programs.

Unfortunately, her employer was in poor health and had visited the hospital with life threatening ailments more than once. With no succession plan for his businesses, “I knew that when something happened to him, the businesses would be gone and I would be out of a job,” she said. At the same time, two large firms specializing in worker’s compensation were going out of business and she was wise enough to see that the market was about to be flooded with people sharing her skills and experience. Like many people in today’s economy, Louann prepared for a mid-life career change.

“I was working part time for this business ( formally Spring Valley Financial Services) when the opportunity came to buy it. I signed the papers the first of May, 2005 and my job ended in June. It was perfect timing,” Louann said.

She added, “It was also a huge step, a huge gamble.” Having only worked for the business two years, she knew taking over this business would require going back to school. “Unfortunately, there are very few classes specializing in tax preparation. You have to take them from private companies.”

After working in the private sector of the business world for over 20 years there was one thing that she found lacking – a resource for small business that was available outside the normal working hours. As a business owner she was sure that there were others like her who spend many hours working on various issues affecting your business in the early morning hours, late at night, or even on weekends. She was often frustrated when reaching a point in a project and realized that she could not go any further because she needed outside advice -only to realize that she had to wait until the next business day or Monday to get her questions answered?

Spring Valley Business Solution was designed to fill that void. Whether it is a tax question, payroll question, human resource issue with a problem employee, or something as simple as a phone number of another business resource, she wanted to make Spring Valley the type of business that could address your problems when you need help most, whatever time that may be. She commented, “Our office is accessible 24 hours a day, 360 days a year, and yes, we do make house calls!”

Spring Valley Business Service provides tax preparation for a large clientele. Along with business accounting services, payroll and tax preparation, Louann also offers training in both Peachtree and QuickBooks accounting packages. She has grown her payroll services from two clients to twenty-four since she took over the company. Eight employees join her part time during tax season including the former company owner who continues to service his tax clients. “We have reversed roles,” she laughs. “I now write him a paycheck.”

Some things have changed in the tax and accounting business since she has taken over. “We are now much more accountable as tax practitioners. We are mandated to look at and question certain items and are more strict in what we can accept as documentation for substantiation of expenses.”

“I suggest that anybody going into business sit down with two people before they begin: a good attorney and a good tax person.”

If you have found this story interesting, informative or inspiring, please let Louann know! Spring Valley Business Service is located at 6729 Providence St., Whitehouse. (419)877-9704 ,http://svbusiness.net/, svbs@tbbs.net.

Civility in a contentious world

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

As I write this month’s column, I have a copy of my latest book read on my desk – Choosing Civility by P.M. Forni, co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project. I was prompted to purchase the book after being more than a bit confounded as to why so many people were being so uncivil to me in recent months.

It’s the nature of the practice of law to be involved in conflict. After nearly 25 years, I’m used to the free expression of different opinions and positions about cases. But, conflict does not have to be equivalent to contentiousness and uncivil behavior. Uncivil behavior from others has a way of shocking my system and ruining my good mood (if I let it).

Over the years, I’ve been guilty of my share of impatience and less than civil attitude (usually brought on by my own fatigue, problems and/or defensiveness when suddenly greeted with hostility or attacked by someone else is a bad mood). As the mother of a teenager soon to leave for college and as a busy lawyer, stress and impatience are sometimes my middle names. I don’t like how I feel or behave when I feel stressed. I don’t like the negative impact on others, whether they are strangers, clients or loved ones. So, one of my resolutions in recent years has been to work on my patience.

As I’ve learned to better manage my stress, my patience has increased. I’m better able to empathize and remember that the other person may just be having a bad day. It’s not personal to me. Consequently, I’m better able to be civil to others regardless of my station in life at the moment. I’m happier. My child is happier (and a bit perplexed by how she can’t push Mom’s buttons quite so easily anymore). Hopefully, my clients are happier with me. The same for my dear friends and strangers I may never meet again.

Always consult a qualified, criminal defense attorney about the specific facts of your case.

Stacey M. Washington is a drunk driving and criminal defense attorney located in Ann Arbor, Washtenaw County. Visit http://www.smwashingtonlaw.com and http://www.smwashingtonlaw.com/blog or contact Stacey at (734) 929-9730.

Survive and thrive at Bernard Pickney’s School of Self-Defense

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

Bernard Pickney

Korean karate, also known as Tang Soo Do, began Bernard Pickney’s interest in self-defense in 1985 when he was stationed in Korea as a U.S. Army soldier. During his three tours of Korea, Bernard learned various martial arts such as Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido at the army base. “I was prepared for hand to hand combat,” Bernard says of his training. He continues to tell of his enlistment experience, “There were good times and bad times, but overall it was a great experience. I learned a lot and grew up fast.”

When Barnard retired from the army in May of 2010, the leap into owning his own business was easy compared to the paratrooper jumps he performed during his service. He discussed his future with his wife and questioned what he wanted to do when he retired, “I knew what I wanted to do,” Bernard begins, “Martial arts and fitness, so I started a self-defense, fitness studio.”

While some small business owners stress over the idea of working for themselves, Bernard embraced it. “Getting the business off the ground wasn’t hard to do. I was motivated and always wanted to own my own business. To be honest with you, I enjoyed the process of learning how to establish a business,” he adds. The most difficult decision was deciding on a location, but his current location fit his budget.

Bernard’s specialty is self-defense. He describes his passion for the skills, “I believe in self-defense. We live in a world that is very dangerous at this point in time because of the economy. I believe that men, women and children need to be able to protect themselves wherever they go.” He teaches those who are at least five years of age and, to date, his oldest participant is 69 years of age.

The way Bernard teaches his students is helpful at any age. “It’s not about fighting. It’s about having a tool; having some skills in case you need to use it,” Bernard says. He continues, “We specialize in deescalating the situation. If your opponent is aggressive and you become aggressive, it doesn’t help. If you become too passive, it doesn’t help. Be calm, but firm. If you cannot deescalate it, try to escape the situation. Run, or throw strikes, then run. It’s not about beating down. Self-defense is about surviving.”

At least two of Bernard’s students can attest to his training techniques. One woman was in an abusive confrontation and used a strike she learned in class. Her skills helped her to survive. Bernard tells of another example of real-life use of self-defense, “A 12 year-old boy was being bullied in school. I taught him a few techniques. The very next day he was attacked in the school bathroom. He was able to deescalate the situation and escape. The bully hasn’t bothered him since.”

Learning self-defense requires a commitment, but no more than two days a week. Bernard offers one-month, a package of eight, or a three-month membership. His school also offers a dynamic, boxing fitness class, which Bernard promotes, “Is good for helping reach New Year’s Resolutions.”

When asked to describe his approach to martial arts, Bernard responds, “It is not traditional martial arts. It is practical self-defense.”

If you have found this story, interesting, informative, or inspiring, please let Bernard know! Bernard Pickney’s School of Self-Defense is located at 1230 Flare Dr., Toledo, OH 43615, 419.725.0131, 419.215.3268 cell, http://schoolofselfdefense.net, bpsosd@bex.net.